Tell us a little bit about your self-love experience. What did you battle with? How did you overcome it and what are you still struggling with?
Self-love is something I struggled with throughout my adult life, mostly after I became a mother. I struggled with whether I was a good mother to my daughter, was my husband being furthered in the marriage, conscious of my professional image and whether I looked fat or unattractive. My fearless approach to life has always remained intact but society sometimes shames us into believing that we are not good enough or beautiful enough or smart enough. The daily triumph is being able to look in the mirror every day and say, “You are amazing! You are beautiful! You are brilliant!” Daily reminders are the first step in overcoming lack of self-love.
Tell us about what you do for work and how you maintain a work-home life balance.
I am a Brand Strategist. Specifically, I help organizations and individuals define and shape what others are saying about them they are not in the room. Also, I am the Founder of The Mommy Grind. The Mommy Grind curates’ online conversations and offline experiences for mothers who are trying to navigate the daily grind. Most recently, I resigned from my six figure “9 to 5” job so that I could have the freedom to create the best lifestyle for me and my family. I believe if you cannot map out a career that gives you the flexibility to maintain a balanced life, then that company is no longer the right fit.
What advice would you want to share with other mothers about self-love and self-care?
When I talk to mothers about self-care, I always give the example of flying on an airplane. The flight attendant always advices in an emergency landing, you must first put on your mask, and then assist other passengers on the plane. That is the same idea for mothers. For us to give our children our best selves, we must take proper care of our minds, our bodies, and most importantly our souls. Also, when something or someone no longer serves you, let it go! We all must surround ourselves with people who love us and want to see us prosper.
Do you have any go-to strategies, tips, books or resources for when you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or doubting yourself?
I have an amazing life coach that offers me strategies and tools for prosperous living. Sometimes as mothers, we want to figure it all out, without the help of others. Being overwhelmed is triggered by having too many task on your plate. When that happens, I advise mothers to outsource their lives. Find resources that will help take away pressure and stress. Or, I visit my Facebook Group: The Mommy Grind to connect with mothers across the world. The Mommy experts in our groups are spectacular and provide advice and resources, in real time. Lastly, alone time is important. Find opportunities to spend time alone for at least 30 minutes a day.
One piece of advice would you give to your younger self?
When I was a young, single woman, I lived fearlessly. I did not care what people thought about me, I didn’t care if the opportunity seemed impossible, and I did not care if the answer was no, I pushed forward until the answer was yes. I would tell my younger self to never change. Continue to take risk. Continue to ask questions. Continue exploring the world and everything that it offers.
If you could give your child any piece of advice what would it be?
I would tell my children to love unapologetically. Being passionate about something or someone does not make you weak. Love is the highest expression of God. You will never have regrets when you are vulnerable enough to express your feelings.
What are 1-3 mom superpowers that you have and our proud of?
I do not take no for answer. If my intentions are positive and I feel someone will benefit from my labor of love, I am going to give 100%.
What do you really want for Mother’s Day?
Delicious food is always my gift of choice. If you want to express that you love and care about me, take me to dinner.
What’s your spirit animal?
My spirit animal is a hummingbird. Hummingbirds represent hope and excitement. I aggressively seek out those that need inspiration and renewal and bring forth the best in them. The goal of life is to eliminate and form of negativity from my life and find joy, in the present moment. Just like the hummingbird, I am resilient, free, and can travel far with no fear.
What is one thing you want to say to your mother?
Thank you. Thank you for taking on a 25-7 job that did not come with a manual or instructions. Thank you for the sacrifices that you make each day for your family. Thank you for your love and your daily strength. You got this!!What does being a good mother mean to you?
To me, being emotionally present for our children is important. I am guilty of spending time with my daughter while texting or search the web on my phone. One day she said, “Mommy you are always on your phone. Please play with me!” That moment changed my life. Our babies just want our time and attention.
How do you protect your mental health?
As mentioned, I release anyone and anything from my life that no longer serves me. Family, friends, careers…if I feel that my relationships are not healthy or if I feel someone does not wish the best for me, it is time to move on. Forced relationships are very exhausting and can create a strain on your mental and physical health.
Answer “ If I knew then what I know now….” In reference to becoming a mother.
If I knew then what I know now…I would have not been so afraid to share with others that I was sad, lonely, and needed help. So many mothers are suffering in silence. No matter your economic status, your political affiliation, or your ethnicity, we are all mothers, doing our best to navigate life, one day at a time.
Follow Rabiah on Instagram @themommygrindisreal and on her Facebook group The Mommy Grind
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